Why Children Have Temper Tantrums

Temper tantrums are when a child whines, cries, screams, kicks, hits, or holds his breath as a way to express being upset. This behavior is commonly seen in both boys and girls; and usually occurs between the ages 1 to 3.

Children throw temper tantrums for two reasons. The first reason is that they don’t know how to manage their feelings in a difficult situation or a new place.

If a child is trapped in a difficult situation and he doesn’t have the tools to deal with it, he might respond by throwing a tantrum.  As a child gets older he develops better coping skills and this reason for tantrums becomes much less common, until it disappears altogether.

The second reason for the temper tantrums is the child discovered they work.  When the child had tantrums in the past, the adults responded by giving in to what the child wanted.  Not every time, but often enough for the child to learn that throwing a tantrum is a viable way of getting what he wants. 

This second reason is why some children still throw tantrums when they are older.  Even pre-teens and teens throw this type of tantrum, because they find it works to accomplish their goals.

Knowing these two reasons will give you the ability to teach your children to not use tantrums. 

You need to teach your child effective ways to handle difficult stressful situations.  One way is through language.  Teach your child to express his feelings and ask for help when he needs it.  When you see your child is in a situation that is hard for him, teach him what he needs to know to handle it.

You need to address tantrums properly so that they do not become a long term discipline problem for your child.